A little less cream and sugar.

I wonder how many times the world will spin before it spins itself upside-down. I, for one, am anxiously awaiting the polar shift. I expect it to happen within the next couple hundred years or so -- quite soon! in the grand scheme of things, any geologist will tell you. I am convinced of its approach. And I wonder if that... is the thing....

I always wonder why I am living in this time. When you die, and you walk to the bus stop of heaven you have to wait there until you decide which bus you want to get on. And then you have to wait for the bus. The bus to whichever time, space, place, universe you want to go to. When you are at the bus stop, you know everything. But by the time you are born into your choice world, you know nothing. By then, you have to trust fate enough to keep lead you on the path your life is supposed to go. Well, whatever else that means, it means that you're living where you are for a reason.
What is the reason that I am here now!? Is it stem cell research? World War III? The OSU Buckeyes' most amazing season ever?! I wonder if it's because of how far the world has come in technology -- this explosion! of information sharing and computer development -- in just such a short time, giving us walkmans, to discmans, to ipods, and digital cameras, and cell phones, and cell phones that are digital cameras! Everything with a whole, tiny computer inside.... I wonder what other things might happen, and in my lifetime!, that would make this lifetime worth living in. What could I possibly think the greatest thing in the history of the entire. universe. could be... that I would choose now.. over any other time. anywhere.
This is all a little watered down, but, well, I hate the details. It involves a lot of time in the dark. And I am very afraid of the dark. ...Although, I became a little less afraid after spending so much time in it. Your eyes adjust. ...But it doesn't make it any less dark -- just more bearable.

So. To review. It is at last, once again, Friday. I will finish my German work while at work today, go to class, and go to my doctor's appointment. Then I will donate plasma, and get drunk, and probably die because of all that. On Saturday, I will meet with a landlord to see some places, and study for midterms. And all in the meantime, I will stress, and worry, and wonder. I will love my man, and cook him food, and iron his good shirt. I will call my parents, and talk to them about money and apartments. And for myself, I will watch Lawrence of Arabia. And then I will feel empowered, and strong, and warm... because it happens in the desert. I swear to god, someday I will get to a desert.

And now, I leave you.