The Harley Renaissance.

I don't really feel as though I'm back from my vacation yet. I just spend so much time at home! I was home all last week and last weekend, I was home this weekend, and not next weekend, but the one after is Easter... I'll be home then, too. ...And I'm not so sure if it's all a good idea. Home isn't really my home anymore, you know? This is my home. And I'm glad to be here. This is the place for me now. My parents' is good to visit every once in a while, and I don't mind helping them get it livable, because I want them to be comfortable at last, but I can't be there all the time. I need to be here. I need to be... I need to not be interrupted from being here. I need to focus. It's difficult to do when I can't settle in.

I missed fighting on Sunday. That makes me so upset -- it was such a gorgeous day. I still can't get over it! I tried to leave Cleveland early, but for the whole first half of the way I was stuck behind some log truck, and so it took almost twice as long as it should have. Then, I got lost getting to the field... something funky with 270 and 670 and 62... I was never very good at numbers.... I mean, the ride wasn't a total waste -- I found a fabric store and picked up the fabric I needed.

Daddy and I had a good time at our dance.
Morgan was here before that. She and I had a good time too.

I saw the councilor today. She's very nice. I feel bad, though, since I don't really know what I'm doing there. I know I need to be there, but... I... I have no idea. I wonder what it will take to fix this mess of a life I've managed to get myself in. And you can't get out, you know. Crazy people mess you up, and they never leave you alone. And amazing people set you up for amazing things, but... not being amazing yourself, you're not capable of fulfilling the plan. You make these goals... and it's not that you hit road blocks, it's that you realize they're not there. I need a reality check. One of those "Sarah Kopcso for Sainthood" moments... minus the alcohol. It's like coloring outside the lines. See, crayon doesn't erase very well at all, so when you color outside the lines and then you try to erase it, you just end up making it worse. But it's irreversible. It's irreversible whether you try to erase it or not, but in retrospect, you feel like it would have been better to not have tried to erase it at all.

I'm trying to find another job again. I'm checking out a new hiring sign today. Let's pray. Two other applications to look into, as well.
Mass laundry to do.
Peace out, war in.